Almost twenty years have passed since the dissolution of a 33-year marriage when my two sons were already adults. Recently I read an article by a woman who found healing from a divorce on Thanksgiving while feeling sorry for herself because one of her children were with her ex and his new wife. She was studying the story of King Solomon with the two women fighting over the baby.
As I was pondering this, I remembered that deep down I had not wanted my sons to have anything to do with their dad. What I saw was that those feelings of anger, bitterness and loss were like the King’s sword dividing that baby. He had suggested he use a sword to divide the infant and the false mother had agreed while the real one had said to give the baby to the other woman. In fact, using the sword would hurt the very ones I dearly loved. I had thought I had my healing long ago as I had forgiven both my ex and myself but I saw there was more to forgive. While forgiving myself, I saw the growth that has taken place in my life since then and I am so grateful. Forgiveness, gratitude and humility were all necessary to heal this old wound. I Kings 3:25-27 states “The king said, ‘Divide the living child in two, and give half to the one and half to the other.’ Then the woman whose child was the living one spoke to the king, for she was deeply stirred over her son and aid, ‘Oh, my lord, give her the living child, and by no means kill him.’ But the other said, ‘He shall be neither mine nor yours; divide him.!’ Then the king said, ‘Give the first woman the living child, and by no means kill him. She is his mother.'”
Realizing that I had to give up personal claim to my sons so they could experience so much more love, as well as myself. Gratitude always finds healing.
As I worked on my computer this morning and hit a glitch, immediately the question comes to thought “Am I smart enough to figure this out?” I seem to be limited in the technology department and frustration follows and then, overwhelm! Most of the time, I just want to give up.
1 Corinthians 1:30, 31 states ” But of Him are you in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.” Wisdom does not come from earning and deserving, but believing and receiving. Today, I will practice listening more.
This morning we had a meeting of women who raise money for scholarships for women’s furthering education. I am in charge of our fundraiser which is selling shelled pecans. Before the meeting I had texted one of the ladies to see if she wanted to deliver 40 pounds to a mutual friend who had already paid me. She had said “Yes”. I had to leave the meeting early because my husband and I had things to do.
After I left I received a short text from her asking where I was. She had thought we were going together. Each of us became frustrated due to the misunderstanding. After stilling my thought, I remember my morning prayer had not been asking for Love but asking to learn to Love more! What a break through! The anger was dispelled immediately and my having to be right simply ceased!
Psalm 105:4 states “Look to the Lord and His strength; seek His face always.” He always answers us. We need just to listen.
Often when the carnal mind is screaming in my head that I face an impossible task, the verse Luke 18:27 comes to thought which states “But He said, ‘The things that are impossible to people are possible with God.'” That says it all. The battle is never ours but always God’s. When my life seems to be complicated, there is always a passage in the Bible which holds the answer for me. My duty is to have a loving, humble and grateful heart so I may hear that still, small voice.
There are times when I am not alert, I tend to think circumstances determine the quality of my life. Temptations to be happy when things are going well and sad when results are not as planned seem to overtake me. When my relationship to God is strong, I can be content in any and all situations.
Matthew 11:28 reads “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest.” As I release control to God, tiredness does not happen! I certainly never have control anyway but the struggle is what wears one out.
Whenever “I can’t figure it out…..”, I am led to Proverbs 3:5-6 which reads “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your way, acknowledge Him , and He will make your pathways straight.” To me, that is a promise and I need only to release my anxiety and worry to Him. Trusting God to be God is all that I need to do. Truth is revealed to me as I begin to become more relaxed and receptive. The struggle comes when I am trying to humanly outline and understand! As I become harmonious I can hear much better. God continues to speak to us and we are never separated from Him.
Yesterday on our way home from a road trip we came into this small town where traffic was backed up and as we got closer, there were police stationed on every corner of the downtown square. Wherever we looked there were trick or treaters pulling their parents along and it was precious. The temperature was going to drop so all the merchants were giving out candy early.
The more I looked, I thought of the little children in the Bible where it says a little child shall lead them. Matthew 18:3 states “Truly, I say unto you, unless you are converted and become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of Heaven.” That is talking about “childlikeness”, never “childishness”. The first is purity, innocence and affection while the latter is selfish and prideful. We should strive for the first!
Then I went on to think how Adam and Eve came on the scene as adults while the Christ began as an infant! So much to think about as we pray to learn more of God and our relationship to Him. What a thrilling journey we are on.